hey peeps.
its Kara, so don't freak. :]
anyways, Paige hacked into my blog and posted there.
so now i'm hacking into hers.
HACKHACKHACK.
see? :]
[wow. it sounds like i was coughing up a hairball or something.]
now...while Paige is soundly asleep, she will never know i'm doing this now.
see how sneaky i am?
actually, i'm not as sneaky as it may seem.
i had to ask her for her password after several failed attempts.
oh well.
my blog..its way better than Paige's.
~nodnod~
http://kae-life.blogspot.com/
yeah, you're jealousss.
now, i think its time for me to leave,
as much as i want to keep blabbering on and on and on to annoy Paige.
now, for Paige, if you delete this...i know where you live.
=o
and i'll delete your "hacking" on my blog.
so byee.
<3>
p.s. Paige is a totally awesome friend, i dunno what i would do without her. anybody who doesn't think that has issues. now buhbye.<3
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
i feel like a [hero] you are my {heroine}
Lies
So you love me, you say?
Don’t you tell her that too?
My friends tell me night and day,
Not to believe the things you do,
But I know the real person inside,
It’s not like you to do that,
To make me want to run and hide.
They say you call me a brat,
Well that isn’t right.
You deny everything they’ve said,
So I try to find the light,
Something to stop my spinning head.
Everyone tells me different lies,
It’s hard to keep them all straight.
One tells me to ignore your helpless cries,
Another says you're probably still great.
Why can’t everyone just decide?
Are you right for me, or just like all the other guys?
I need a sign, something to tell me if you lied.
A way to see past your pretty blue eyes.
It doesn’t matter, though,
I’m hopeless for a cure,
I guess I’ll never know,
If it was all a lie, or actually pure.
- Copyright of Paige
Friday, February 29, 2008
{{little.did.i.know.before}}
wellso my relationships with people?
they're all screwed.
my best friend has decided to broadcast my feelings to two people who she /knows/ don't like me that much.
then she goes on to tell me things about tony that i don't CARE about.
i've told her that before.
don't tell me things that you think i won't like.
it /really/ bugs me.
and then you wonder why i cry.
my crush and my best friend, the two people that i actually care about, i'm mad at.
see, my best friend for the reasons mentioned above and my crush because...
apparently all he does is lie.
and i like to believe him...
cause it's nice to think someone loves you.
and he used to always crush my hopes.
but now he said he might go out with me.
and so /kara/ decides to break me by saying he's lying.
sure, she's trying to not let me get hurt and i know she's trying to do the right thing,
but, newsflash,
IT'S MY LIFE.
i can do whatever i want with it.
and i certainly don't need the opinions of people who could care less about me.
so, let's just not go telling people random things about me, okay?
please&thanks.
they're all screwed.
my best friend has decided to broadcast my feelings to two people who she /knows/ don't like me that much.
then she goes on to tell me things about tony that i don't CARE about.
i've told her that before.
don't tell me things that you think i won't like.
it /really/ bugs me.
and then you wonder why i cry.
my crush and my best friend, the two people that i actually care about, i'm mad at.
see, my best friend for the reasons mentioned above and my crush because...
apparently all he does is lie.
and i like to believe him...
cause it's nice to think someone loves you.
and he used to always crush my hopes.
but now he said he might go out with me.
and so /kara/ decides to break me by saying he's lying.
sure, she's trying to not let me get hurt and i know she's trying to do the right thing,
but, newsflash,
IT'S MY LIFE.
i can do whatever i want with it.
and i certainly don't need the opinions of people who could care less about me.
so, let's just not go telling people random things about me, okay?
please&thanks.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
i [can't] look at ((myself))
that song is stuck in my head.
"ugly" by brie larson. [love it]
no.
onto the point.
so i was reading this book last night, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, The Real Deal: Challenges" and in each story there's, like, a question. and it's really deep.
so i'm like, "hey! let's (being i) blog about my answers!"
so here you go.
and i feel there should be a warning.
if you don't want to know what goes on in my brain/heart, don't read this.
srsly.
on we go! (:
Have you ever felt like the life you're living is a lie?
yes. i mean, i'm a pretty real person, but sometimes i can't take it. like, people expect me to be happy. i skip around wearing pink, i'm not exactly the poster child for emoness. so every once and a while i throw on a fake smile or something and pretend things are okay when they're not. that's nothing huge though, i guess. but yeah. sometimes i feel like everything's a lie. not a lot, though.
Do you think you have unrealistic expectations about the way your relationships should work out?
in a word; yes. i think that the reason i dumped tony is because i wanted my life like a fairytale. like, i felt that i'd dump him, and he'd come running to my doorstep begging for forgiveness. [obviously that didn't work out as planned.] soyeah. sometimes i have really high expectations for people, and i end up getting my hopes crushed in the end.
Have you ever had an "anxiety dream" (a dream where you're falling, drowning, failing a test... etc.)?
yeah. i have falling/drowning dreams a lot. though when i'm drowning, i can always breathe underwater, which i kinda cool. and then i always flinch in my sleep when i have those falling dreams.
When super skinny celebs like Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie say they don't radically diet to achieve their slender figures, do you think they're being honest?
well let's face it; every girl thinks they're fat, at least a little. it's a problem we have. when people are unhealthily skinny, i do think they have a disorder. that, or they really don't know when to stop their diet. so yes, i do think they're lying most of the time.
Have you ever had a teacher go above and beyond for you?
yeah. at the last field trip we had, i threw up in the bathroom. all of my teachers were super caring and made sure i was okay and ms. drumm and ms. b both stayed with me to make sure i was okay. then ms. drumm and mr. parent brought me out to the car. i think it was nice.
Have you ever felt like a negative behavior or habit has taken over your life?
this one's hard. no, i really don't think so.
Have you ever ended up in the hospital because you were sick?
about a week after i was born, i had to go back to the hospital. something was wrong with my liver or something and it made my skin yellow. then i had to go under some blue light. and then once i went to the hospital because i got so dizzy i couldn't see. i don't really remember what happened with that. it was when i was, like, 3 or 4.
Many of us would rather get yelled at by our parents than be given the silent treatment. What about you?
i'm not sure. my dad, he yells really loud about stupid things. so i get yelled at a lot. i really can't stand it when people ignore me and stuff. so yeah, i'd probably pick the yelling thing.
In divorce cases, custody of children is usually given to the mom (more than 70% of the time). Why do you think that is?
well, the mom gives birth. most of the time, children are closer to their mothers anyway. so i guess that's why. although i don't know much about divorce, so i really don't have much of an opinion.
Do you think that everything happens for a reason?
not at all. i mean, really, there is no reason behind the fact that i dropped my lunch tray a long time ago. like, it slipped. there wasn't really a reason for it happening. so i don't understand why people always say "everything happens for a reason" cause it doesn't.
Have you ever become friends with someone who, years earlier, you couldn't stand?
yes. haha. my best friend, actually. in 5th and 6th grade, i never liked kara. like, she'd follow me and my friends around and talk to me all the time. i got really annoyed. but now we're like sisters. go figure. xD
Do you know how to live in the moment?
i'd like to think so. i try not to care about what other people think, and just do things when they seem right. i think it's how i want to live my life and so i do. i hope. xD
Do you ever make judgments that you find out later are totally wrong?
probably. like, i know it's super bad to label people you don't know, but i do. and it's bad to make that assumption on a person before you know them. i only do it sometimes, though. i'm trying to get better. (:
Have you ever thought about what your lifetime goal is?
yes, i've thought about it. i know for sure that i want to be happy and get married to someone i love. as for a job, i really don't know what i want to do. being an actress i'd like to do, but i'm shy. so i really just don't know about that. butyeah, my goal is to be happy and try to make others happy, too. (:
When you're feeling stressed or angry, what calms you down?
really just time. i have yet to figure out a way to rid myself of stress, still trying. xD. sometimes watching tv and being alone helps.
Have you ever not spoken up because you thought it'd hurt someone's feelings?
maybe. i probably have, which may contribute to reasons why i don't participate in class. that and i don't want to sound stupid.
Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your BFF?
i'll tell my story about kara, then sabrina.
kara was in my girl scout troop for a few years with her friend, michelle. none of the people in our troop ever liked kara, actually. we thought she was annoying. but then i met her again in fifth grade, and we eventually became friends.
sabrina was in my fifth grade class. i sat next to sarah (who was my friend at the time), she sat in front of sarah, and frankie sat in front of me. like, the second or so day of school, we all had to find "clock buddies". at one point, me and sabrina were the only to left so we were "buddies". pretty funn. (:
Have you ever heard the words "I just don't feel the same way you do"? How did it make you feel?
something like those words, anyway. and, like, doctors say that your heart breaking is only in your head, but i think it actually happens sometimes. you know, if you get hurt enough. because when the person you like, doesn't like you back... it sucks. simple as that. and it hurts, really bad.
Do you parents ever leave you home alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
haha. no way. my parents give me strict instructions to stay downstairs, or if we go upstairs, they pretend to put away laundry or something, but they're really stalking us. xD
Do you know any kids at school who use drugs?
yes. well, at least i think i do. there's a kid who's ah-bviously a pothead. and i think this girl does to. i'm sure some people do. no one i'm close to,t hough... hopefully. xD
What do you think of racy t-shirts for girls with sayings on them like "hot chicks" or "baby doll"?
i mean, sometimes they're really stupid and just... stupid. other times, they just make me laugh. it's a free country, you know?
iloveyou.
lovemetoo?
[comments = admiration]
♥ Paige
"ugly" by brie larson. [love it]
no.
onto the point.
so i was reading this book last night, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, The Real Deal: Challenges" and in each story there's, like, a question. and it's really deep.
so i'm like, "hey! let's (being i) blog about my answers!"
so here you go.
and i feel there should be a warning.
if you don't want to know what goes on in my brain/heart, don't read this.
srsly.
on we go! (:
Have you ever felt like the life you're living is a lie?
yes. i mean, i'm a pretty real person, but sometimes i can't take it. like, people expect me to be happy. i skip around wearing pink, i'm not exactly the poster child for emoness. so every once and a while i throw on a fake smile or something and pretend things are okay when they're not. that's nothing huge though, i guess. but yeah. sometimes i feel like everything's a lie. not a lot, though.
Do you think you have unrealistic expectations about the way your relationships should work out?
in a word; yes. i think that the reason i dumped tony is because i wanted my life like a fairytale. like, i felt that i'd dump him, and he'd come running to my doorstep begging for forgiveness. [obviously that didn't work out as planned.] soyeah. sometimes i have really high expectations for people, and i end up getting my hopes crushed in the end.
Have you ever had an "anxiety dream" (a dream where you're falling, drowning, failing a test... etc.)?
yeah. i have falling/drowning dreams a lot. though when i'm drowning, i can always breathe underwater, which i kinda cool. and then i always flinch in my sleep when i have those falling dreams.
When super skinny celebs like Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie say they don't radically diet to achieve their slender figures, do you think they're being honest?
well let's face it; every girl thinks they're fat, at least a little. it's a problem we have. when people are unhealthily skinny, i do think they have a disorder. that, or they really don't know when to stop their diet. so yes, i do think they're lying most of the time.
Have you ever had a teacher go above and beyond for you?
yeah. at the last field trip we had, i threw up in the bathroom. all of my teachers were super caring and made sure i was okay and ms. drumm and ms. b both stayed with me to make sure i was okay. then ms. drumm and mr. parent brought me out to the car. i think it was nice.
Have you ever felt like a negative behavior or habit has taken over your life?
this one's hard. no, i really don't think so.
Have you ever ended up in the hospital because you were sick?
about a week after i was born, i had to go back to the hospital. something was wrong with my liver or something and it made my skin yellow. then i had to go under some blue light. and then once i went to the hospital because i got so dizzy i couldn't see. i don't really remember what happened with that. it was when i was, like, 3 or 4.
Many of us would rather get yelled at by our parents than be given the silent treatment. What about you?
i'm not sure. my dad, he yells really loud about stupid things. so i get yelled at a lot. i really can't stand it when people ignore me and stuff. so yeah, i'd probably pick the yelling thing.
In divorce cases, custody of children is usually given to the mom (more than 70% of the time). Why do you think that is?
well, the mom gives birth. most of the time, children are closer to their mothers anyway. so i guess that's why. although i don't know much about divorce, so i really don't have much of an opinion.
Do you think that everything happens for a reason?
not at all. i mean, really, there is no reason behind the fact that i dropped my lunch tray a long time ago. like, it slipped. there wasn't really a reason for it happening. so i don't understand why people always say "everything happens for a reason" cause it doesn't.
Have you ever become friends with someone who, years earlier, you couldn't stand?
yes. haha. my best friend, actually. in 5th and 6th grade, i never liked kara. like, she'd follow me and my friends around and talk to me all the time. i got really annoyed. but now we're like sisters. go figure. xD
Do you know how to live in the moment?
i'd like to think so. i try not to care about what other people think, and just do things when they seem right. i think it's how i want to live my life and so i do. i hope. xD
Do you ever make judgments that you find out later are totally wrong?
probably. like, i know it's super bad to label people you don't know, but i do. and it's bad to make that assumption on a person before you know them. i only do it sometimes, though. i'm trying to get better. (:
Have you ever thought about what your lifetime goal is?
yes, i've thought about it. i know for sure that i want to be happy and get married to someone i love. as for a job, i really don't know what i want to do. being an actress i'd like to do, but i'm shy. so i really just don't know about that. butyeah, my goal is to be happy and try to make others happy, too. (:
When you're feeling stressed or angry, what calms you down?
really just time. i have yet to figure out a way to rid myself of stress, still trying. xD. sometimes watching tv and being alone helps.
Have you ever not spoken up because you thought it'd hurt someone's feelings?
maybe. i probably have, which may contribute to reasons why i don't participate in class. that and i don't want to sound stupid.
Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your BFF?
i'll tell my story about kara, then sabrina.
kara was in my girl scout troop for a few years with her friend, michelle. none of the people in our troop ever liked kara, actually. we thought she was annoying. but then i met her again in fifth grade, and we eventually became friends.
sabrina was in my fifth grade class. i sat next to sarah (who was my friend at the time), she sat in front of sarah, and frankie sat in front of me. like, the second or so day of school, we all had to find "clock buddies". at one point, me and sabrina were the only to left so we were "buddies". pretty funn. (:
Have you ever heard the words "I just don't feel the same way you do"? How did it make you feel?
something like those words, anyway. and, like, doctors say that your heart breaking is only in your head, but i think it actually happens sometimes. you know, if you get hurt enough. because when the person you like, doesn't like you back... it sucks. simple as that. and it hurts, really bad.
Do you parents ever leave you home alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
haha. no way. my parents give me strict instructions to stay downstairs, or if we go upstairs, they pretend to put away laundry or something, but they're really stalking us. xD
Do you know any kids at school who use drugs?
yes. well, at least i think i do. there's a kid who's ah-bviously a pothead. and i think this girl does to. i'm sure some people do. no one i'm close to,t hough... hopefully. xD
What do you think of racy t-shirts for girls with sayings on them like "hot chicks" or "baby doll"?
i mean, sometimes they're really stupid and just... stupid. other times, they just make me laugh. it's a free country, you know?
iloveyou.
lovemetoo?
[comments = admiration]
♥ Paige
Saturday, February 16, 2008
we're [falling♥apart] to half time
DANCEDANCE.
song moment. (:
okay.
now.
to the point of this blog...
i really am nawt hoping for a repeat of last year.
this all sounds too painfully familiar.
a dude dumps his girl friend.
then decides he wants to go out with me.
i am dubbed a boy friend stealer.
my best friend clings to my boy friend more than me.
we fight over him...
A ZILLION TIMES.
and yummers is the best friend ever.
and, except for the last part, i don't want to go through that again.
no.
nawt at all.
so all my friends [and parents] say that /if/ he asks me out, i should say no.
which would be totally cool and make him fall on his face.
but i can't say no to him.
as i told kara at the dance;
i swear to god he puts a spell on people.
because i know that if he were to ask me out at any point, i would say yes.
and i don't know if that's crazyness or stupidity or what.
but it has to mean something... right?
like, if we both go crawling back to each other, maybe we're made for each other?
i really just don't know.
and i want this drama to END.
liiiiike, now.
thanks.
<3
Paige
song moment. (:
okay.
now.
to the point of this blog...
i really am nawt hoping for a repeat of last year.
this all sounds too painfully familiar.
a dude dumps his girl friend.
then decides he wants to go out with me.
i am dubbed a boy friend stealer.
my best friend clings to my boy friend more than me.
we fight over him...
A ZILLION TIMES.
and yummers is the best friend ever.
and, except for the last part, i don't want to go through that again.
no.
nawt at all.
so all my friends [and parents] say that /if/ he asks me out, i should say no.
which would be totally cool and make him fall on his face.
but i can't say no to him.
as i told kara at the dance;
i swear to god he puts a spell on people.
because i know that if he were to ask me out at any point, i would say yes.
and i don't know if that's crazyness or stupidity or what.
but it has to mean something... right?
like, if we both go crawling back to each other, maybe we're made for each other?
i really just don't know.
and i want this drama to END.
liiiiike, now.
thanks.
<3
Paige
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
lean with it [rock with it♥]
well.
that's it.
i'm done with people treating me like shit.
people think i only do things because i don't care about their feelings when, really, it is them not caring about my feelings.
does he really think that every time he tells me i screwed up it doesn't hurt?
because it does.
heartbreak is the worst thing in the world, and, being who he is, you would think he'd know that.
obviously not.
i will give you a few quotes straight from the jackass himself;;
x
him: since ur going to act like i thought i could try to start again with u but this just ended it
x
him: -shakes head- u just lost my trust
me: i lost it before, i thought.
him: yeah but gain some anyways now its all gone
x
him: ur a jerk that doesnt care if she hurts anyone just as lobng as shes happy shes fine
x
him: oh and im blocking u
x
the last one is hilarious.
kara knows why.
you see; this has become a daily routine for me.
he'll get mad at me for something i screwed up.
everyone makes mistakes.
anyway.
i've stopped caring.
so he'll be like, "i'm blocking you. bye."
and i'll simply say, "bye."
[i used to stop him, but then i got used to it and now i don't bother.]
and then he'll block me.
two second later?
he comes back online.
and IMs me.
sometimes it's to see if i'll talk to him.
when i don't, he'll im me with something stupid.
like... "-sigh-"
and wait for me to react.
sometimes, he signs on just to tell me how much he hates me.
i think he does that one just to make him believe it himself.
other times, he'll start talking to me like we're friends again.
that's pretty much the 3 things he does.
i s'pose it just depends on what kind of mood he's in.
and, trust me, he has enough mood swings to last for the world.
first, he's the sweetest thing ever, then he's yelling at me because i dumped him almost a year ago.
I DON'T GET IT.
does /anyone/ get why he does the things he does?
please.
just tell me how he can think that driving anyone to hate themselves is a good thing.
i'll love you forever.
xox,
the confused one.
that's it.
i'm done with people treating me like shit.
people think i only do things because i don't care about their feelings when, really, it is them not caring about my feelings.
does he really think that every time he tells me i screwed up it doesn't hurt?
because it does.
heartbreak is the worst thing in the world, and, being who he is, you would think he'd know that.
obviously not.
i will give you a few quotes straight from the jackass himself;;
x
him: since ur going to act like i thought i could try to start again with u but this just ended it
x
him: -shakes head- u just lost my trust
me: i lost it before, i thought.
him: yeah but gain some anyways now its all gone
x
him: ur a jerk that doesnt care if she hurts anyone just as lobng as shes happy shes fine
x
him: oh and im blocking u
x
the last one is hilarious.
kara knows why.
you see; this has become a daily routine for me.
he'll get mad at me for something i screwed up.
everyone makes mistakes.
anyway.
i've stopped caring.
so he'll be like, "i'm blocking you. bye."
and i'll simply say, "bye."
[i used to stop him, but then i got used to it and now i don't bother.]
and then he'll block me.
two second later?
he comes back online.
and IMs me.
sometimes it's to see if i'll talk to him.
when i don't, he'll im me with something stupid.
like... "-sigh-"
and wait for me to react.
sometimes, he signs on just to tell me how much he hates me.
i think he does that one just to make him believe it himself.
other times, he'll start talking to me like we're friends again.
that's pretty much the 3 things he does.
i s'pose it just depends on what kind of mood he's in.
and, trust me, he has enough mood swings to last for the world.
first, he's the sweetest thing ever, then he's yelling at me because i dumped him almost a year ago.
I DON'T GET IT.
does /anyone/ get why he does the things he does?
please.
just tell me how he can think that driving anyone to hate themselves is a good thing.
i'll love you forever.
xox,
the confused one.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
DON'T FORGET [to (remember) me]
so.
okay.
i'm writing this in addition to yesterday's post because my feelings change... a lot.
and today..
i got some sense knocked into me.
how, i can't say.
srsly.
people would get mad.
but, anyway, i've decided to butt out of people's business.
and i think everyone else should too.
what does on between him and her is their business, not everyone else's.
i know other people agree with me when i say that they aren't made for each other.
but they'll learn it soon enough.
it really isn't anyone else's problem, except theirs.
it's obvious that they both love each other...
well.
it's obvious he loves her.
and i think she loves him too.
we'll see.
but, really people, stay out of it.
i know i'm being a hypocrite, but i've decided to butt out now, and everyone else should, too.
i know they're doing it because they care, but they should just let him and her work it out by themselves.
because they're both happy with the relationship right now, so let them be.
i'm gonna.
and if i can, you sure should be able to.
i /love/ him and i'm staying out of it.
learn from me, will you?
it's not like they're gonna marry each other or something.
we're only in middle school.
people shouldn't be saying "i love you" every day in the first place.
[yes. that was hypocritical of me.]
but...
i don't know.
just let them be.
please?
thanks.
<3
Paige
okay.
i'm writing this in addition to yesterday's post because my feelings change... a lot.
and today..
i got some sense knocked into me.
how, i can't say.
srsly.
people would get mad.
but, anyway, i've decided to butt out of people's business.
and i think everyone else should too.
what does on between him and her is their business, not everyone else's.
i know other people agree with me when i say that they aren't made for each other.
but they'll learn it soon enough.
it really isn't anyone else's problem, except theirs.
it's obvious that they both love each other...
well.
it's obvious he loves her.
and i think she loves him too.
we'll see.
but, really people, stay out of it.
i know i'm being a hypocrite, but i've decided to butt out now, and everyone else should, too.
i know they're doing it because they care, but they should just let him and her work it out by themselves.
because they're both happy with the relationship right now, so let them be.
i'm gonna.
and if i can, you sure should be able to.
i /love/ him and i'm staying out of it.
learn from me, will you?
it's not like they're gonna marry each other or something.
we're only in middle school.
people shouldn't be saying "i love you" every day in the first place.
[yes. that was hypocritical of me.]
but...
i don't know.
just let them be.
please?
thanks.
<3
Paige
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